Ebook The Lost Art of Good Conversation: A Mindful Way to Connect with Others and Enrich Everyday Life, by Sakyong Mipham
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The Lost Art of Good Conversation: A Mindful Way to Connect with Others and Enrich Everyday Life, by Sakyong Mipham
Ebook The Lost Art of Good Conversation: A Mindful Way to Connect with Others and Enrich Everyday Life, by Sakyong Mipham
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Review
"This wise and informative guide lays out a path towards genuine human connection and community in difficult times." --Publishers Weekly
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About the Author
SAKYONG MIPHAM is the head of the Shambhala lineage, which is grounded in the power of creating enlightened society in everyday life. With a unique blend of Eastern and Western perspectives, he teaches this way of social transformation throughout the world. In addition, he extends his vision to a number of humanitarian projects in Asia and the West. He is the author of the bestselling titles Running with the Mind of Meditation and Ruling Your World.
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Product details
Hardcover: 240 pages
Publisher: Harmony (October 17, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0451499433
ISBN-13: 978-0451499431
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.8 x 7.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
53 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#56,676 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Yes, Sakyong Mipham is my teacher and I love him, so full disclosure: I am predisposed to love this book. However, it is really easy to see how useful it is to anyone. The Lost Art of Good Conversation is about common sense and sanity, the natural expressive warmth of the heart, and the impossible-to-overstate importance of knowing how to connect with others, whether we agree, disagree, or are absolutely confounded by each other. What does our world need more than this at this exact moment in time?The book is broken down into five sections:"Why Conversation" seeks to return a sense of respect and appreciation for what is possible through the ordinary act of conversing with each other."Be Mindful" breaks down the basics of true communication and describes its most important qualities."Be Kind" addresses the all-important issue of remaining open and present in the flow of conversation, no matter what."Enrich Your World" speaks to the magic that is possible through genuine communication."Strive for Conversational Excellence" helps to recover a sense of joy and vibrancy through the act of conversation.In addition to potent insights, the book has dozens of simple exercises, practices, and contemplations for using each of Sakyong Mipham's teachings in the way that really counts: in your own life.
I have been practicing meditation for almost 2 years; however, due to my own anxieties, I’ve rarely practiced with other people. My piano teacher, who I found while I was trying to heal my traumatic relationship with the piano, suggested to me that I attend a talk conducted by Sakyong Mipham, the leader of the Shambhala meditation community a few weeks ago. She said to me that I needed to experience being in the presence of someone that PRESENT. At the time, I did not know what she meant, but I decided to attend. When he entered the room, the energy completely shifted. I felt my eyes soften, my senses became more enhanced, and something inside me changed. Recently, I have been struggling to leave my past traumas behind in order to move forward. People have told me for a long time that forgiveness and closure are internal experiences, but I did not fully comprehend what they meant. I still had continued to try to either fix myself or other people to attempt to move forward. I was coming from a place of not accepting myself and others. After listening to multiple teachers and the Sakyong speak about being present for other people and trying to see innate kindness in ourselves and others in order to communicate more effectively and connect at a deeper level (which as a therapist in training is MY JOB!), I began to appreciate a concept that I previously rejected: common humanity. I thought I needed to be special, important, and prove myself somehow to deserve attention and respect. Yet, over the past few weeks, I’ve seen a transformation in my thinking. As people, we all go through the experience of being human, which includes traumas of all kinds. Being a person and navigating the various sufferings of life is quite hard. All people are special and inherently good; however, accessing that inside of ourselves and seeing that in others can be challenging at times. I have shifted my mind set quite a bit since I’ve read The Lost Art of Good Conversation and immersed myself more in the Shambhala teachings. I’ve realized when I am truly present, I am naturally curious and nonjudgmental and life seems much easier. Moreover, I have seen the power of simply acknowledging someone else that may not be regularly acknowledged. I have long prided myself on giving voice to the voiceless; yet, now I am taking more time to truly listen to those who have not been heard. I have seen the power in putting aside my preconceived notions and listening to someone I would not normally talk to and it can be immensely healing for both people. Moreover, I have seen additional changes in how I conduct myself. I have a new openness to experience. I used to think that I had to know what was going to happen and if things did not go as I planned or anticipated, I would freak out in numerous ways. I’ve allowed myself to just experience life as it is occurring. When I’ve experienced anxiety and self-doubt, I found I can always return to my sensory perceptions with a gentle approach and simply notice what is going on. I’ve trusted myself more and I don’t need to know what will happen because I now understand that I am not omniscient and I always have a place to return to: being in my body, noticing my breath which leads me to feeling at ease and safe wherever I am. Additionally, I’ve begun activities with an intention. Whether it be sitting down to the piano or exercising, I’ve noticed that when I shift my conscious intention and focus on what I want to gain from the activity, I also enjoy the activity more, be less harsh with myself, and understand what I am doing or creating in a fuller way. Simply through increased awareness and presence, I have shown up more for myself and others and that is powerful.
Sakyong Mipham's work provides a valuable guide to mindful conversations from a Shambhala Buddhist perspective. The Sakyong explores different types of conversations from seemingly superficial ice breakers to difficult conversations and shows a way to have both balance and politeness in communication. He also demonstrates that if one is mindfully communicating, even seemingly trivial topics become a vehicle for warmth and compassion. There are useful exercises at the end of each chapter to help develop a more reflective approach to communicating. My only criticism, and it is a small one, is that there are Shambhala specific concepts such as "warrior", "cocoon" and slogans, which could have been more fully explained to a non-Shambhala oriented reader. However, the concept of "wind horse" is discussed in depth and how it relates to good conversation. Overall, I most highly recommend this book and it is a much needed discussion on an overlooked topic,
This book does a great job illuminating the power and art of relating to ourselves and others through conversation. It's much more than a simple "how to speak to others" book -- although there are practical tips along those lines -- it provides the reader numerous ways to reflect on how we can use our words to bring about our own fundamental worthiness, which can then facilitate better relationships with others, ultimately leading to a good society. Sakyong Mipham divides the text into short chapters, each ending with a reflection to implement on the spot or throughout the day. I've enjoyed keeping it close by to quickly pickup and gain some inspiration before relating with others.
This is a great book and one that is certainly needed in this day and age when people seem to communicate more through texting than in person. I rated it a five because not only does it have some good advice, but after reading it you become more aware of how you are conversing with others, and it makes you want to improve. When a book motivates people to want to do better then it's a great book! It's a quick read and well worth it for the information and motivation. Two thumbs up!
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